Motivation

Some aspect of my personality drives me to play these, games, even if I never do finish them. There's a common aspect to all of them that initially hooks me, and that keeps me playing for a period of time before setting them aside.

I keep thinking about making my own game. I have the technical know-how to implement something one-quarter decent. But thinking about what sort of game I should make has forced me to consider what it is exactly that I enjoy about them.

The games I love are: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, World of Warcraft, Super Metroid, Super Mario World, and Final Fantasy IV and VI.

One thing I can identify is a progression of capability. You do not start with all the things you need to reach the end. From the hookshot to the grappling beam to the airship, finding each of these things is instantly game-changing, allowing new tactics and access to new areas to explore.

I guess that means a second factor is exploration. I should say meaningful exploration... I appreciated the technical aspects of the randomly generated dungeons in Diablo and Diablo 2, but something about them seemed like the computer was throwing busywork in front of me. While the computer is capable of making locations, it seems that so far only artists and level designers are capable of making interesting and beautiful locations.

Another piece of it is a progression of skill. You can make it further and make things easier, not just because you found a bazooka in a chest, but because dammit you've gotten mighty cunning with those two little revolvers.

I guess those three things are part (but not parcel) of something I want to feel when I play my games: awe. This new doodad I found... it's awesome. This level.... awesome. I am becoming... awesome.

For an interesting read, check out TVTropes: Crowning Moment of Awesome, and you'll get an idea of what I'm talking about.

Final Fantasy II

Making good progress, though it's more of a difficult game. I've gotten to the point where I am to mount an assault on the Dreadnought (as opposed to assaulting a mount on the Dreadnought, which is probably a felony in both the Empire and the Rebellion). The difficulty has been of my own devising, since I've neglected to properly level up my magic.

I'm used to being fairly conservative with MP's, afraid that I won't have any for the boss when I get to them. Unfortunately, the only way to increase your pool of MP's is to spend them. So I've been finding myself making two or three trips into a dungeon. The first few trips are to blast all the nameless monsters hiding within so I can practice my magic. The final trip is a speedrun through to the boss so I can blast him with unforgiving eldritch energies (which I've just spent a period of time levelling).

It's working thus far.

I think I'm going to play some Neverwinter Nights 2.

Final Fantasy II

Started the next iPod touch Final Fantasy, which was released the same time as the first one, as part of Square's anniversary celebration.

It's a beautiful port of the game. I've never played the original, though I've seen screenshots. It has a lot of depth for something that's decades old. The themes of empire and war are something that are still being explored in the more modern games.

The skill system is taking a little getting used to. I have to remember to cast magic spells or my magic users will be crap. In FFI I tended to conserve magic until I really needed it. If I do that here, my magic users will be unskilled and kind of worthless.

Final Fantasy - Complete!

Well, I've finished it. The difficulty ramps up significantly for the final boss "Chaos". Every fight before that point was at most three or four rounds. This one took about 10 or maybe twelve. I'm not sure. I lost count.

It's happy to have finally finished this landmark game.

Problem is, I don't really feel a sense of accomplishment. I wonder why I'm doing this. Is there something wrong with me?

Final Fantasy

I'm seriously over-leveled. And out-geared. And over-magicked.

Mount Gulug was a piece of cake, as was Mirage Tower and the Flying Fortress. That means I've defeated Marilith and Tiamat, and lit up the fire and wind crystals. I've retrieved the Adamant ore and gotten the dwarves to forge Excalibur for my knight.

Now naught but Chaos and Oblivion awaits me.

It's really strange seeing how Final Fantasy has evolved over the years. Playing this one, I'm noticing a lot of resonance with Dungeons & Dragons. A lot of the monsters are the same, even some of the items. And they layout of how you learn things. A circle of sages in the woods tells you of the fiend of fire residing in the volcano. The brother of a man in Melmond is an expert in the Lufenian language. A fairy gives you a bottle of fluid that lets you breath under water. It has a very D&D feel to it, and I love it.

And yet, Square still put their own stamp onto it. Clerics weren't armored warriors, they were white wizards. Typical D&D wizards were Final Fantasy black wizards. Warriors become Paladins, and magic progresses evenly from Fire 1 to Fire 3.

Looking back at this game, it's becoming clearer that Square achieved something unique. And I think that they've lost their way since. The games they create now... I'm not certain how to put it. They lack wizards. They've replaced heroism with bad-assery. They've replaced "wandering around trying to talk to the random person who drops a hint about what I should do next" with "this is what you do next".

Let me be more clear on the "they lack wizards" point, because it really does matter to me. Part of my ability to identify with a character is not just the character's personality, but their capabilities too. Vivi (FFIX) was a black mage. That's what he did. It's who he was, and it defined his actions both in and out of combat. Of course, FFIX black mages had a bit more depth than FFI black mages, but it still made the character meaningful.

The other Final Fantasies? Well, the job system games meant that any character could take any job. Same with paragons, or materia, or sphere grids. Admittedly some were better at them than others, but it still felt like that important bit of evidence about a character's past, a hint about who they are and why they do what they do, was lost.

I'm not going to suggest the games are worse for it, but it simply doesn't pluck the same strings in my heart.

Final Fantasy

Finished the Ice Cave, and got my airship!

This is the defining moment for any Final Fantasy game.

Final Fantasy

I've cleaned out the Earth Cave, and killed the lich. Y'know, for an undead of nearly unlimited magical power, he spent an awful lot of time attempting to beat my fighter to death with his fists. I was prepared for a lot of things, but shit tactics wasn't one of them.

I beat him like a rented mule, of course.

Reading the faq on the game (from gamefaqs.com), it's pretty clear to me that I'm higher level than they recommend, so the games quite a bit easier than I reme mber it. Of course, there's things like "being able to save anywhere" and "being able to buy more than one potion at a time" that have improved the experience, but I'm wondering if they just made the game easier, at some basic statistical level.

Haven't had a lot of time to play NWN2 lately. When I'm not being a father, I'm playing World of Warcraft. I've only been playing Final Fantasy because it's on my iPod, and I can play it during the two hours of commuting I have to and from work.

It's strange... I have something that I love (gaming), but my life essentially has to be empty in order for me to pursue it. It's either living or gaming it seems. I mean, the choice is obviously living, but it's pretty telling about a) the size of the void in one's life that exists in order to be 'hardcore', and b) that gaming does a pretty good job at filling it.

I don't know if this is some sort of truth or not.

Final Fantasy

Canal opened, on to Melmond and the Earth cave.

Found an excellent place to level up. There's three chests in the castle to the Northwest of Elfheim. In front of each chest is a guaranteed battle that nets around 200 - 300xp and 900 - 1500 gil. As a result of this, I'm level 20 (nearly 21) before heading into the Earth Cave.

I had 50,000 gil when I got to Melmond. I felt badass. Then I saw that the Knight's Armor was 36,000 gil. And the mage spells are 4,000 each.

I'm broke again.

Oh well, 'tis the destiny of adventurers to be poor. Otherwise they'd have less incentive to adventure. I remember reading the Conan D20 sourcebooks. They actually say that most barbarians spend a good portion (or all) their money whoring and boozing in between adventures. That suits me just fine.

Part of me cringes, though... shouldn't they be putting it into an retirement savings plan of some description? But then agian, y'know, whores.

Final Fantasy

I beat Astos the Dark Elf, gave the Crystal Orb he dropped to Matoya the witch in exchange for the pep tonic to wake the prince, and now I've got the Mystic Key!

And, as usual in a Final Fantasy game, I'm about four levels ahead of where I need to be, so the game's a smidge easier than if I'd tried to blast through as fast as possible.

My job now is to go visit all the old castles and dungeons I had visited and get all the treasure that was locked up by the mystic key.

Read through a walk-through today... it sounds like the game gets pretty arbitrary and hard. The enemies start using insta-kill spells like Rub and XXXX. I'm not really looking forward to that.

Final Fantasy

No posts for a while. No real reason, other than I haven't been doing a lot of gaming.

Still playing Final Fantasy on my train ride to / from work though. I'm looking for Matoya's cave. Perhaps I've missed something, but I can't find the bloody thing. It's actually pretty interesting going from a game like this to Final Fantasy XIII, where they give you a helpful reminder of what you've been doing and where you're supposed to be going. I guess that's the advantage of a more linear flow... it's a lot easier for the developers to point out what you should be doing next.

Tonight is raid night in World of Warcraft. I think we're supposed to be poking our heads into the Coliseum again to kill Lord Jaraxxus.

Final Fantasy

SquareEnix has re-released Final Fantasy 1 for the iPod. I bought it almost immediately off the Apple AppStore. It was only $9 (which is about the same price as a novel on the kindle, so not bad). I've been playing it on the train to and from work, lost in a happy cloud of nostalgia and awesome.

I've been playing the Final Fantasy games since the first one was released for the NES. I fired it up on a friends machine, and played through to the fight with Garland.

Which, was a bit of a mistake.

You see, the original Final Fantasy on the NES had one save slot. One. And starting a new game effectively blew the old one away. My friend was pretty mad at me, needless to say, and I was banished from his NES for a period of time. I forgot about the game.

Final Fantasy II (North America) came out for the Super Nintendo. I knew about it because I read about it in Nintendo Power magazine (remember that?). There was something different about the game that appealed to me. There was a story, and characters that grew and changed over the course of the game. There was a huge world, and a stupendous amount of things to see and stuff to get. I begged my Dad to pick it up for me next time he was in The City (I lived on a farm, you see). And, miracle of miracles, he did. I missed the bus to school the first day I played it. I laughed at Edward the bard. I cried when Tellah cast Meteo. And I actually got to the moon on the Big Whale and finished the game.

Yeah, one of the few games I've finished.

Ever since, I've made an honest job of trying to finish all the other Final Fantasy games as they come out. Sometimes I've succeeded (VII,X), sometimes I've come close and suffered the loss of a save game with 80+ hours on it (III). Othertimes, I just grew bored with the mechanics (VIII, IX, X-2, Tactics). Regardless, it's always held a special place in my heart.

A few months ago, I went to see a symphony perform the Prelude and One Winged Angel.

I cried during it.

Heavy Rain

A friend of mine left his copy of Heavy Rain at my place for a few days. I played through the first few bits. As a new father, it's a bit hard to handle, since it deals with losing a child. Fortunately the game is excellent enough that I want to know what happens next.

Didn't play it yesterday, since apparently starting my PS3 would've caused a meltdown.

Played World of Warcraft instead. Got my deathknight up to 75.

Neverwinter Nights 2

Alhazred is continuing to dismantle Moira's criminal organization. Mostly, his tactics fall under the "kill them and take their stuff" category. Interestingly, if you let Neeshka run off occasionally, she'll find some extra nifty things. It pisses the lawful Khelgar off, but it nets you some nifty weaponry occasionally.

He's also investigated Skymirror, helping out Elanee, the elven druid. Didn't learn much, other than the Neverwinter druids are missing and that a blackness has appeared in the Mere of Dead Men (which is why Elanee joined me in the first place). Ostensibly, it's related to the silver shards carried on his person.

He's just cleaned out one of Moira's warehouses. Let's see if that'll get me into Blacklake.

Star Trek Online

A friend lent me a 10-day trial for Star Trek Online, so I've been trying to take advantage of it. Hence why I haven't been playing a lot of NWN2. I'm quite enjoying the game, and finding quite a lot of complexity to it.

Though recalling some recent Blizzard comments re: complexity vs. depth, I'm not quite certain yet. I don't know if it's a deep game quite yet. That remains to be seen, in my case.

At any rate, the E'Suna Regen E'lixir, the sensuous Vulcan tactical officer, is currently blazing a course through the hearts and minds of the Sirius Sector Block. Sometimes quite literally.

Oh, and my SO (may the mighty tremble in her shadow) found my Mass Effect CD in her computer. I'd forgotten that since I was using her computer for gaming I'd left it in the drive. And neither of us had noticed for the last few months.

I guess that should tell you how often we use our optical drives in our computers.

I'm a groomsman in an SCA wedding this summer, I just remembered. I have permission to dress in fool's motley.

Neverwinter Nights 2

Wow, Neverwinter's a bit of a cesspool.

The docks district is overrun with thugs and ne'er-do-wells. The guard is corrupt, and Alhazred hates the smell of low tide. He's discovered most of the corrupt guardsmen (there are a few good apples), and murdered some of the thugs wholesale, but all that's resulted in is the city watch house being burned down. So now it smells like low-tide-on-fire.

Hrm.

Well, there's nothing to be done. Discovered a lass named Moira's the leader of the underworld in neverwinter. Looks like Alhazred gotta slap a bitch.

In other news, he's also managed to save a snotty sorceress from a group of her classmates, which kind of bit him on the ass. One of the classmates had an older brother (and some mage cronies) that ambushed the party. They died, of course. Alhazred was considering bringing the sorceress with him, but she's managed so far to be more annoying than Elanee.

Neeshka has a bit of history here. An old partner of hers double-crossed her, so she repayed him by lifting most of his shinies. He's been sending meat after the party ever since. Alhazred would be annoyed with Neeshka if it weren't for that cute little tail of hers.

New old video card

I lent my girlfriend my video card a few months ago (and installed one I had sitting around on a shelf). I helped buy her a new one for Valentine's Day, and got my old video card back.

It's going to be nice to be able to play games at > 10fps.

Neverwinter Nights 2

By nature, I tend to prefer diplomacy. Formerly when I've made characters in NWN2 they've been cool, collected, men-about-town who solve their problems without violence when they can. Usually I end up somewhat at odds with Khelgar (the dwarven fighter), since he prefers to kick people in the teeth.

This time, however, I made a warrior. Specifically, a weapon master. The prerequisites for the weapon master prestige class include several ranks in intimidate. Since I'm a warrior, I don't exactly have a crapton of skill points to spread around, so I've been maxing out intimidate every level-up.

What a different game! Suddenly I've gone from feeling like a slack-jawed vicar to a menacing badass. I've avoided just as many fights as I would've avoided by using diplomacy, but with the added bonus of keeping my self-respect intact.

I've taken my first level in weapon master as of last night. They get an ability called "Ki Strike", which means they do maximum damage if they hit. Combined with the whirlwind feat, I'm turning into something of a battlefield catastrophe.

Neverwinter Nights 2

Neeshka (the thief) still keeps wandering into groups of monsters. I've taken more direct control of her of late. Usually it's to get a good flank with one of the warriors so she can start dishing out big damage.

We met up with another female character, an elven druid named Elanee. Neeshka doesn't like her.

After researching the internet for a bit, I've determined that their differences can best be settled through pillowfighting.

Neverwinter Nights 2

I've started and restarted Neverwinter Nights 2 several times since I bought it, never making it much past the first steps into the city of Neverwinter. I usually stop playing for my typical reason, which is that the game starts to get difficult so I quit playing.

This time, I'm making a fighter. His name is Alhazred Al'hazar, and he looks a little bit like Michael Jordan. My intention is to turn him into a weapons master who uses a greatsword.

I've already had to re-create him twice and run through the tutorial, since arranging the stats so you can take the appropriate feats (Mobility, Spring Attack, Whirlwind), is a little more in-depth than I had guessed.

Things are going well. The attack on the village I started at was thwarted with little difficulty. Alhazred seems to be an adequate blender of lizardmen and bladelings. He's encountered so far a dwarven rowdy, and an adorable tiefling thief, who are currently accompanying him for mutual protection and possible fat loots.

I admire the tiefling girl for her dedication if not her intelligence. So far she has wandered into no less than three groups of ravening monsters because she possibly spotted a trap in their midst.

I admire the dwarf because he's full of hitpoints, which I usually arrange to be consumed by the aforementioned ravening monsters before Alhazred's.

Note: Spring attack is pretty awesome. Getting into a flanking position without drawing attacks of opportunity has been pretty useful.

Why I'm doing this

The title of this blog really says it all.

I'm pretty good at starting things, but I'm equally terrible at finishing them.

And I hate that about myself.